U up?
Her ex texts at 3 a.m. He misses something, that much is true. The question is what exactly.
- ThemU up?
- YouIt’s 3 a.m.
- ThemSo you’re up
- YouWhat do you want
- ThemJust thinking about us
- Remembered our walks by the river
- YouUh huh
- ThemHow you laughed at my jokes
- YouI laughed at your jacket
- pause 1.0 s
- ThemHow your mom made lasagna
- YouOkay
- ThemHonestly, I can’t stop thinking about it
- YouAbout me?
- pause 1.5 s
- ThemAbout the lasagna
- Maybe you could ask her for the recipe?
- YouGood night
- ThemAt least how much cheese goes in
- YouGood night, Dave
- ThemI already bought the cheese
- Two pounds. There’s no going back
Why it is funny
A classic late-night text from an ex, and the reader is sure they know where it is going. The first pause sets up a confession, the second one breaks it, and the cheese already bought takes the absurdity all the way.
How to make it yours
The lasagna can be any dish the ex’s mom used to cook: a stew, a pie, a curry. Keep her cool to the very end, and the two pounds already bought land as a real punchline.
Every chat here is fiction. Any resemblance to real people is coincidental.
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