Dividing the stuff
Two exes split their things: a hair dryer, mugs, a frying pan. All calm, until they get to the cat.
- ThemWe need to give each other’s things back
- YouAgreed
- ThemYou have my hair dryer, two mugs and a charger
- YouYou have my sweater, headphones and the frying pan
- ThemI’m keeping the frying pan
- YouIt’s my frying pan
- ThemI learned to cook on it. So it’s mine
- pause 1.0 s
- YouFine. Then I’m keeping the hair dryer
- ThemWhat do you need a hair dryer for
- YouYou learned to dry your hair with it. My turn now
- ThemVery funny
- And I’m taking the cat
- YouThe cat will decide
- pause 1.5 s
- ThemThe cat has decided
- YouAlready?
- ThemCame to me on his own. Three floors by the stairs
- YouYou put food on the stairs
- ThemThat’s called making an argument
- pause 1.2 s
- YouFine. I’ll come for the frying pan at seven
- ThemCome. The cat misses you
- The cat. Not me
- YouGot it
Why it is funny
The argument about things is funny because both use the very same reasoning and neither notices. The ending, with the cat who misses him "not me", says more than the whole argument and leaves the story open.
How to make it yours
The disputed item can be anything with a shared history: a coffee machine, a blanket, a gym membership. Keep the cat, though: a living referee makes the fight funny and shows at the same time that it stopped being about things long ago.
Every chat here is fiction. Any resemblance to real people is coincidental.
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