The fire on Bald Hill
You count heads before the hike so nobody is left in the dark. Before the fire there were nine of them.
- ThemHow was the hike
- YouWe made it. Fire on Bald Hill
- The counselor set a rule: count before and after
- ThemWhy
- YouSo nobody gets left in the dark
- ThemThat is actually sensible
- YouBefore there were nine
- pause 1.5 s
- After there were ten
- ThemCount again
- YouWe counted four times
- Ten every time
- ThemSomeone from another cabin joined you
- YouThe hill is an hour on foot. Nobody came
- pause 1.2 s
- ThemMake everyone say their name
- YouWe did. Nine names
- ThemAnd the tenth
- YouThe tenth says nothing
- pause 1.8 s
- ThemGet out of there
- YouThe counselor is putting the fire out. We walk in a chain
- Each of us holds the shoulder of the one in front
- ThemGood call
- YouI am walking last
- pause 1.5 s
- ThemWhy last
- YouBecause I was the one counting
- pause 1.2 s
- ThemAnd
- YouNobody should be holding my shoulder
- pause 1.5 s
- There is nobody behind me
- Somebody is holding on
- ThemRun
- pause 1.8 s
- YouI cannot
- It already said my name
How it works
The counting rule exists for safety, and it is the rule that brings the trouble. The last line turns the narrator around: the one doing the counting turns out to be part of the count.
How to make it yours
The roll call by name is the key to the last line: the tenth one stays silent and at the end says a name. If you cut the story down, keep that scene. Keep the numbers small, nine and ten, so the viewer counts along with the group. The hike can become a night tour of a cave, a fishing trip or a forest quest, and counting heads before and after fits any of them. Make the pause before "Somebody is holding on" longer than the rest.
Every story here is fiction. Any resemblance to real people or events is coincidental.
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